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Ask a Guy: How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?
I have been on and off with my ex for the past 4 years. After I read the 3 steps, it motivated me to move on and make a plan to make her back to me. I have never married but he has twice.
I guess a lot of me obsessing over he is the guilt? When children are involved you simply cannot afford to play games. Why am I having such a hard time. Spread the love Dear Christie, I started dating my current boyfriend about 8 months ago. This is my first serious relationship with a man to where we live together and would like to have a future together. My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year.
The last few months were rough because his grandmother passed away after being in t.
How To Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan
I just want to talk about all i have thought about since he left me and how i hope to fix things so we can grow together. This is great advice. This is why I come back to this site to try to rid myself of the negative thoughts—your points are spot on.
My bf split up with me last week after 2. We were committed to each other and always were making plans for the future. This article really resonated with me as I can see where things went wrong perhaps I have been confused all week I feel I pushed him away by trying to get it to go in a certain way ie pressuring him about children — but then feeling like we came to agreement I am 36 and had come out of a toxic marriage when we met.
I then got made redundant he had two lots of sugery on his hand and then I had a brain haemorrhage! All within 3 months! We then spent 3 months recovering together with each other everyday meaning that sex was off the table as we were both too ill and the fun disappeared.
I felt it was just about getting back to normal and starting doing what we used to. I then started feeling incredibly vulnerable and probably a bit needy as I felt everything in my life was slipping through my fingers. And then he ended it. Is there any hope? So I sent him a text stating I wanted to pick up my belongings and that I would come by after work the following day to retrieve them.
The next day I contacted him to make sure he was home, he wanted me to stop by later than I planned, but I told him I wanted to get my things as soon as possible and be done.
My exact words, he agreed to meet me and said he would be there when I arrived. I deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook before I drove out the parking lot. I would be open to getting back together with him. I have been on a date since we broke up and another man is presently pursuing me he has stated he wants a relationship and I am rejecting him because I still have feelings for my ex. However, is there anyway to know he wants me back? My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house my parents and his parents get along very well.
So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her.
I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me.
We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. What can I do to get back with my ex???
I like this article. But sometimes this method is the best outcome for both parties. I myself have recently stopped being friends with an ex. I was no longer single, and had moved on, but held onto the hope he would want me miraculously again one day. That day may or may not happen, but life must go on.
I cut off friendship with him despite his protests. I told him our significant others would be jealous and left it at that. A year has passed now and I have not heard from my ex. I bumped into him last week and he told me he was seriously living with a new gf now. All I do now is just look positively on life and realize I have to appreciate my current boyfriend, which I do. Eric I need help… The love of my life and I broke up like a week ago….
After agreeing to get our relationship right this time. And I believe it happened because we still had such tension that we never took care of… And I suggested that we start over… Like get back together and start over and that that would be the healthiest idea…. I believe this is worth fighting for. We have been through so much in over the year we were together. My mom said that he only said that so I would finally give him space.
But everyone keeps saying just give him space. I have been dating a guy for the past 6 months, last week I did throw a surprise birthday party for him.
I got the guts to go at his place today in order to talk to him. He said that he wants us to be best friends and we will still meet and be the same was we were the only difference is we are no longer dating.
Somewhere somehow I still have a hope to be back with him. Anyone can help me. Thanks priya from Montreal Canada. I just to ask i need my boy friend back he is very nice actully he loves me a lot but i dont know why he left me alone i want him back at any cost cause my life means nothing without him he is my best friend i dont have any friend i had very bad past but he expect me as i am loves me like a baby care like a parent hold me like god he is my everything actully were living near a place but now am far from that place so when i start living in far place i did not get that much to talk that much so our missunderstanding are becoming more and more day by day one he said i m furstred with u and dont want to talk to u i said ok really l will not call you then at night i was very much anger and use abuse word to him that was why he is not talking to me please help me i am stupid mad u can any thing but i want him back i love him very much i really need him please help please.
One day we went out for lunch and for some reason I got mad at him and said some mean things. And he broke up with me again. He said he wants his space and he is in frustration because he is not getting his degree. So we decided to take a break for 6 months. I help him with the paper things for his college so we at least see each other once a week. Please advice me how do I get him back? Please advise me how to get him back.
All of this makes sense, but for me the question of the day is: My situation with my ex fits this profile perfectly. He left me over four years ago because of some really emotionally tough stuff that he was facing.
I understand; I really do. And no amount of me being happy and attractive is going to speed up his progress. What kills me is that he seems to be in love with me from a distance. This article is going to help me now and in the future! My ex broke up with me after he lost his father. We were together 3 years and lived together for just over 2 years. So my question is this.
We are both the type of people who are not into mind games and are honest no matter what and act honestly. But with him and me, we are what we are no matter the status or title. Ok now for my question, if I am not talking to him, how is he going to find out Im on the market? Do I tell him myself because there is no other way he would know.
I highly doubt if I am casually dating someone, their picture is going to end up on my facebook lol. What do you think? Hey Eric Charles, Not sure about this stiring of jealousy so to speak. As these events were near each other he exploded in once about both accusing me of being unloyal. The weird part was when I had one guy leave me as soon as I had another he got jealous. He was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. I basiclly went with him because I was bored. Needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, I told him the truth and we got back together.
The last I heard he had issues with his life. Oh well boys will be boys I wonder what Eric thinks of that. Thanks for your article, this makes so much sense. I just went through bad time where after a three months break requested by my boyfriend, he decided he was not sure he wanted to resume our relationship. I cut all contact. I needed to re-organize my life, rethink my situation and create a back-up plan.
Since, I am trying to organize to get my stuff out of his place as we were staying together. Then, why is he acting so distant and non-cooperative. I try to be realistic and independent but my heart is broken in so many small pieces. Do you have any advise? Why would a man not want to get all this over and move on?? There are no victims in relationships… you choose to be in a relationship and you can just as easily choose not to be.
I just wanted to acknowledge that this piece of writing was very insightful and inspiring. A good kick in the ass, really. Thank you for writing this! Thank you… I hope that reading it helps guide you to getting what you really want… and all that good stuff.
Hi, i need some advice my boyfriend broke me up i love him and i want him back.. But now sometimes i do email him and asking how he is.. Yes, this is true, when a relation broken up then She thru the cause to he and he thru the cause to she. After read the article somebody get back their ex and somebody actually knows how to maintain a perfect relationship. J and I were together for a little over 4 years and for about the last year of the relationship things got really rough. The summer before we moved to college J started acting different, like a real ass, and the week before I moved in to school he broke up with me.
That night, after I moved in, he begged me to come back home so we could talk so I did. Sure enough my gut was right. There were messages from many girls from his college, asking for his number, him inviting them over, back massages, all the typical. His response was no. I asked him three times. He said no every time. So I sent him the screenshots, apologized for getting on his stuff, and said you lied to me we are done.
That was late August He started begging pleading apologizing and I would see him some but then a guy from my school, that I was really attracted to, came into the picture.
I really liked him but he started talking bad about J and bashing my lifestyle, kinda made me mad. I had told J I had kissed him and really liked him. I knew I had to be there for him. Finally after going round n round we got back together at the beginning of November V was still persistent and we talked a lot. However, J won me back and I fell all over again.
School started back late January and things started going down hill again. Me and V started talking some again and J started being a butt. Early February I found out I was pregnant…me and J were devastated, terrified.
We made the executive decision to abort it. So I went to get him and took him home. Two days later I made the most regretful decision of my life I hate myself for it to terminate my pregnancy. At first things were hard. But we got better, him and I. Then on spring break, I was playing games on his phone and checked his messages.
He had a texts from C, the girl he was interested at the begging of the year. Thinking the obvious, obviously. Then I put two and two together. I checked the date on the messages and sure enough they were from the night his keys supposedly got locked in his truck.
The truth was they had actually been thrown away with his pants with the girl he was interested in. We got better, celebrated a great birthday together only a day apart , and things were looking up.
I was in love with him. He was in love with me. We grew close again. Then V started wiggling his way back in. We texted casually, quite often though. He was so broken, it hurt to see him hurt. It brought us close again. We had a wonderful family vacation at the lake, gosh I loved him. Then when school started back things got bad again. We fought a lot. We broke up again, I started hanging out with V, kissed, nothing more. I kinda stopped trusting J.
We got back together, the last date we went on was mid October Not too long after that though, he broke up with me. It made me mad. He kinda begged for me back, we fought, said a lot of mean things to each other, it got really really bad. He told me he wanted me. Finally i softened up and three days after that I agree.
So I begged, pleaded, cried, apologized, stalked, hacked. Name everything not to do to get your ex back and I did it. I heard it all. He was so mean. This started January I still begged, cried, called. He started blocking me.
End of feb After the second time he blocked me I got mad and left him alone.. During that time he called and facetimed but never text. I Finally answered him late one night and he was crying. Saying how much he love loved me, how sorry he was, asking if I changed, all that. By the time spring break came around I had given up. Then of course he contacted me again.
He even logged on to my Instagram, made it public, and added himself back then messaged me so I would talk to him, deleted the conversation when we finished. So I was trying to do that. I just left it alone. That was a Tuesday, the following saturday I got a friend request from him on facebook and realized that after our conversation he had deleted me as a friend. But after I realized he deleted me I blocked him on there too.
His girlfriend is all about him. His aunt cried as did I when I had to leave. That night I text his mom just to see how school and everything went for him.
Then he text my mom asking her to have me text him. Then he tried to turn it around that it was my fault. He said he tried to talk to me and would talk every time I wanted to but now I had him blocked on everything. Saying how he had been hurt too and all of that jazz.
I want to make amends with him because I realize all the hurt I caused. Someone please give me some advice on what to do. I need some coaching on what to do, is there any hope? He still told me he loved me on spring break, and always would, he just thinks we were no good and all I see is the good.
I love him, I miss him, and I want to make us right. We used to be so good but distance, school, and stress got in the way. However, right now I feel a bit frustrated.
All my life I am following exactly this path — I do enjoy my surroundings, my life, people around. And many people, even strangers, frequently comment that they rarely see a person as happy as me.
Yet, unfortunately, very very few find me attractive enough to just start simple conversation, let alone anything like a relationship. Guess, my question is what am I doing wrong?
It sounds like a man only wants a woman who never feels anything other than shiny happy perfect. A robot lady with no soul will do just fine. I actually disagree with this perspective. Happiness is something a person can work on for themselves.
I am basically a happy person, and i agree that being happy is magnetic enough to attract people, not just men, effortlessly. I find that freedom to be who you are, accepting yourself as you are, loving and enjoying every moment of your life as you are, and feel that you belong to the universe as a whole, makes things easier to think that possibilities are going to be in your favor and you open yourself up to more beautiful things in life, positive things naturally come your way….
When you are truly happy, there is a natural glow that radiates from within and manifests on the outside. You tend to be more graceful and allowing the sun shine in you like in spring warming the earth and encouraging new life and new beginnings. There is hope, love, joy, and commitment in the enjoyment of life. You naturally become more enthusiastic and loving of life in a serene yet indomitable way. A certain relaxed yet powerful coolness makes you become an authority in confidence and strength inspiring multitude of followers to emulate you.
You become somebody others look up to, want to be with, and want to become. Life springs up on you like natural spring water from a mountain, quenching the thirst for heroes of the people around you.
And this does only make you more courageous to forge ahead because you are naturally a warm and happy person. It can be a state of mind or you can really be born a jovial person.
Either way, it is still up to you to become such a person. A person of total happiness, enthusiasm and joy, who enjoys life and shares it with others.
Be that person, and your life will always shine through. If you want a feeling of being in heaven, think and focus being in heaven. Heaven is basically just a state of mind. We were together for a year and a half and lived together for that time as well. We moved fast but we were madly in love and talked about marriage and kids and what not.
I know lots of people do this but we were serious enough to almost get engaged in a year. We fought a lot towards the end of the relationship. We met and had dinner a few days ago and we were awkward at first but then we were flirting like crazy. I recently took my boyfriend of two and a half years back. A couple weeks after he came home I found out he was seeing another girl behind my back.
I ended it made him leave. Even though he did what he did I love him dearly and want him in my life. I offered to take him back.
He turned me down. She first had a crush on me and then eventually i started liking her and we started going out. Everything was great for 1 and a half years then suddenly she started talking to some guy who she calls her best friend and in the state of jealously, I started telling her to stop. Hi Kevin, I went out with my ex for like 4 months long time back.. I feel i wana fall for her again.. I called him he said he had been cheating for few weeks. Our relationship was awsome we had so many memories and good times.
My girlfriend of four year just broker up with me, we were engaged. I have already made a lot of these mistakes. I told her that I love her, I told her that I can do it, that i can be the man she wants me to be, I have sent her flowers. Hey kevin, So my ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months. Make sure if he is with you, he is committed. Hi Kevin, thanks for this post.
Hey Alex, As a general rule, you should act after weeks of no contact. I just stumbled upon this site at my hour of need and I first have to thank all of you for sharing your stories. They were not in vain and I feel stronger already. I broke it off with my partner of 2 years 10 days ago. I did not want to do it but I felt like it was the right thing. It got ugly towards the end and in my desperate moments, I threatened A LOT and even followed through on some of my threats which resulted in me breaking his trust.
Hi Kevin, Me and my ex just broke up again. I did all those mistakes contiuoulsy in our previous break ups. Idk what to do. Is it too late to follow this plan? Cause I have really deep feeling for this guy. And the only reason I make those same mistakes with the begging and texting is because of how much I love him.
We been through alot. Hi kevin, good points. So my two and half year relationship ended last week from my fiancee and within that week she told me that she was unhappy and could never forgive me: I never call him or message him because i feel I would only disturb him..
I hope you read my story and reply. We were just friends then. I did have a crush on him and I found out when we got together that he also had one on me. I moved away then 1yr later we found eachother again and became friends.
Then again we both moved away and 7yrs later we ran into eachother again. I was getting divorced at the time. I have three kids. Im 28 and hes One more thing I wanted to add was that when I talked to him he sounded angry towards me.
I knew he was busy and he asked me to be patient and wait for him to get his things in order. So how can I ever clear this misunderstanding between us? I only want that to be the last form of contact I have with him. I love him but I want to give him space. She has cut all communications with me ,even lettn me see my children. Hi Kevin, I have a major problem with my ex.
We were together for 3 years. I did the no contact and it worked. She was texting me and calling me not to get back together she said but missed me so much and I caved we spent days together like we were a couple.
We were intimate again. It was extremely complicated our break up but in the end simply was my fault. She has now slept with another person, I know its just physical and I can deal with that. She kissed me for a little bit too. Thanks I will keep that advice in mind. Hi Kevin, My ex and I broke up at the end of April.
I moved out because we were living together. But he would still come over.. They we had a big blow out and he wasnt sure what he wanted. Come to find out he got back on an online dating site and has been messaging different people. This break up has been very hard on me because I thought we were going to eventually get married. Me and my ex were together for almost 3 years and he broke up with me 5 months ago.
Hey, If you just follow the plan and stop contact with him for a while, things will definitely change for you. Till last year he was ready to marry with me. He only told me that i want you and my parents both as his parents are against of me. He also told me that he will fight for me with his parents. Hi Kevin, 5 months ago my fiance, whom I had been with for 5 years, ended things with me 7 weeks before our wedding.
He was about to move a few hundred miles away for a new job and we were supposed to be moving there together, but after we split, he moved and I stayed and we havent really spoken since. Hi Kevin I split with my ex 8 weeks ago due to me having post natal depression and pushed him away. I speak to him about the baby and that is it. I expected him to text or call but nothing.
Hi Kevin, I hear these suggestions and i have no doubt that they work but let me tell you my story. I have been with my ex for 3 years now. With in the first six months of our relationship he asked me to marry him and I of course said yes.
Although my heart wanted it to be right, mentally I was somewhere else. Ihad just gotten out of a long emotional roller coaster type of relationship and should have honestly given myself more time before jumping into another one.
Hi Kevin, To try to keep it short my boyfriend of 2 years and bestfriend of 5,broke up with me last thursday. This is the 4th time. Every other time we broke up I always knew there was hope in getting back together.
He got upset and told me that I messed up bad and to never contact him again. Hello Kevin My ex does not want anything to do with me yet she keeps me on facebook as her friend and constantly updates it about how great her life is and how great her weekends are. My boyfriend and i broke up a little over a month ago, well really he broke up with me. We had been dating for 8 months, and the relationship was very slow moving, but it helped us develop a very strong connection.
Then people are calling me saying aww im sorry Ashley about everything. I talked to him about it and then we broke up. I have been on and off with my ex for the past 4 years. We never had a chance at a real relationship because we would always end it every 3 or 4 months.
The moment things became too content he would back out and break up with me. We never argued over things and I have to say the relationship always went smoothly. We started seeing each other not on good terms though because he had a gf in the beginning.
She was his first love. Hi Kevin, I love my boyfriend very much. Still i was in a hope that someday he would speak to his parents. HE is stubborn and alwayz told him to be honest with our relation. Hi, I just subscribed to the e-mails. I have met this boy in another country, he went back, I have to stay. I think we were wonderful together, he is the person I want to be with until the rest of my life.
But we are young, he is even younger than me and our future is still unpredictable in many ways. But I do not want this to discourage me. I am positive he is worth it. Hey Kevin, hope you could help me out here. My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. She immediately started seeing this other guy right after our relationship ended. My girlfriend and I have been off and on for over two years. We both lived in the same city and have many of the same friends.
We were pretty lovey dovey this summer and had all these things together. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We first got together when we were 15 and we were together for 5 years. We are 20 now and I was not expecting it until I had the gut feeling a couple if days before it happend.
I took him off my FB when he stopped calling me for a week! We spoke about the issue and I apologized for the misunderstanding and asked him to be friends again on FB. He said he does not want to do it because he says I am too impulsive! So my girlfriend was all loving and happy just last Thursday, then on Friday she started being a little more offish and threw out the week.
It just got worse, I tried to ask her if everything was okay and she ignored the question. When she came back home from college, which is only an hour away she said we needed to talk and we meet up for her to tell me that she was breaking up with me. My ex and I broke up three and a half months ago and I followed the no contact rule for three weeks after the breakup. We dated for two years. After contacting him again, we hung out a lot for a couple weeks and we seemed to be perfect again.
Then, a week ago he stopped talking to me, and when I asked why, he said he just wants to move on. Why would he want to stop talking all of a sudden when we were doing so well? I was a wreck. A few weeks no contact all focused on me. I know I may be overreacting.. I met him at the beginning of march, and we were both taken.
We started talking on the phone, a 4-way conversation with two other friends who are dating now. I was in a relationship with him for about a year and then some other guy liked me and told about it to my bf. He was really frustrated. He supported me in front of him but screwed me up when I met him.
It has been nearly six months. Kevin, I know this sounds kinda 7th grade. In June I was sitting around feeling really sorry for myself because I was still single at my age Your story sounds so similar to mine. I have been married for 17 years, unhappily, but never imagined I would stray, mainly for the sake of my children. I decided to go Facebook because I was lonely and in March an ex-boyfriend I had from when I was 15 years old started talking to me.
AJ, sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your situation. It does get better though, one day at a time. Right now, I would say you should just focus on yourself. You have a lot going for you, you are successful and as I understand from reading your post you would like to share your life with someone.
Hi me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and 4 months. I was her first boyfriend,. The first 3 year were great, we loved each other got along then about a year ago, she got a job for the navy. She started to change. About 4 months ago she started to not say I love you and just plain not really caring about me and was lying about going out with other guys.
Then she asked for a break and I begged her to stay. I love him so much. The break up has been going on for about 2 months now. I have tried to work things out. We were talking from time to time still, I thought things were going to be fine after I give him some space. We started talking last week. Everything was good, he told me he misses me, I ignored it at first. OK, I just had a fight with my GF maybe now she is my ex. We were friends for 10 years and I was the one who always loved her but she was too busy having relationships with other guys and then 1 year back I finally told her that I love her and I love her like crazy.
Things were good but then she started complaining and left me for her ex and they were planning to get married but then he left her and then she came back to me I was an easy catch for her lol. In august my girlfriend broke up with me. We had been going out for about months, and we were doing really good.
During the summer, we spent a lot of time together. She wrote me these notes, also. In these notes, she would write about how much she cared for me and how I treated here nice and all that good stuff. In these notes, she would also write about how we would interact during our school time. Well, skip to about 5 days before our 1st trimester began, she surged acting weird. My husband has left me about 4 months ago to be with a 24 year old woman abroad, he makes very good money, we worked very hard to get there financially, there are other women whom he meets at work, these women want him for selfish reasons, he may be dating other women also?
My ex girlfriend and I have been together for two and half years. We were so in love. We planned to get married in a few year. I made every single wrong mistake listed today. Hi so me and my ex split up after 6 years. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She thought I cheated but I just said that I never cheated. I was her first love but now she has had sex with 4 people. But I still love her and it has been about 1 year and she no longer loves me.
I now go out with her best mate but I wanna be with the love of my life, not her best mate. So please can someone help me. I have a very very close relationship with her whole family and this whole situation is very hard and painful for me.
I did the wrong thing and completely bombarded with texts and sounded desperate to get back together. She started ignoring me and I finally gave up 2 weeks ago on trying to contact or work things out.
We were engaged for 9 months-two weeks before our wedding, just this past Sunday, he claimed he no longer loved me and that it was over. HOWEVER, he still intends to pay half the rent on our apartment for 7 months til the lease is done, and is paying for me to still be on his phone plan!
So my boyfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago. At this point I am still devastated, the first time I did the begging and pleading. This time I did at the point of the breakup but that was it. My girlfriend and I split about five months ago, we also share a son together. Mike, Your situation is completely different from anyone else on this site. You two have a child together.
When children are involved you simply cannot afford to play games. You need to go for it and make things right. From what you have told us I can see that your ex is just waiting for you to proceed to some crucial actions. She texts you, she says she loves you, she invites you for breakfast — these are all her actions. But what do you do? So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a month but then broke up with me because she said she liked me as a friend…. In these four years he dated many chicks and so did I.
Hi I need your help. My ex and me were at the mall with our friends and I got really mad at him. The reason why is because he started running off with his friend and ditched me and my friends running off like he had no idea what he did.
Hi, Please help me. My BF of 3 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago. He can be pretty selfish. But that is unfortunately what it means. Think about it yourself, would you do this to someone you love? And what does he do? Okay I am a female, me and my girlfriend broke up because she says we argue too much. Hey, my girlfriend of one year and two months broke up with me two weeks ago.
She was from Moscow and I am from London so we had a long distance relationship. We saw each other quite a lot and I went to Moscow three times, took her on holiday to Turkey in Feb and now recently she was living with me in London for a month and a half before going back to Moscow. During this time I also took her to Bali. I am 51 and I know what you are going through. Men at this age realize they finally have the freedom to do as they please.
Give your self a break. Do not initiate any contact. If you work together in a common place just say hello and keep going. During this month focus on your self, physically emotionally and spiritually. Exercise will relieve stress as well as get you in shape for the next time you see him and you will. After one month see how you feel about him, only as a friend.
I started seeing a woman I really love and she was married at the time and everything was perfect a lot of times, and she was married at the time for 3 years and left him for me!
Well we dated and lived together for a while and we had a blast and great times and all. Hey Alister, I can tell you something that might help you in a way, or at least make you think about things. Thing is that I have been in a serious relationship with a guy from another country too, and for most of the time it also had to be a long distance relationship I am from Russia too.
Anyway we were going to get married and I went to see his place and the country where he lived and meet his family and there I started to have some doubts over the whole thing. My girlfriend of 9 years has just broken up with me and we have a 3 year old daughter, its killing me.
I really need to be there for my daughter, I love them both so much, the whole thing is driving me so mad and angry but very very sad. If you remain her friend then she will know you are always there for her no matter what she is doing and very soon you will find yourself listening all the stuff about the guys she is actually seeing. I dated this guy for 2 months and he was going through a lot family issues.
He said even though all this was happening he still wanted to work it out if I wanted too and I agreed. He never called or responded to my calls for 3 weeks to work it out so I chalked it up to: We always made it seem like a fairy tail the way we were, even after we had our fights. I think that you can really make it, you can do what her family has told you and it will definitely work out.
All the Facebook crap is just to get you worked up and hurt you and push you into doing some crazy things and making you jealous. My ex and I were together for almost 7 years and had 3 children together.
We broke up in April shortly after our 3rd was born. We had a pretty bad argument which had to do with me not wanting to have sex with him. I was going to PPD and was feeling more needy and insecure then ever. We started talking again in June and things seemed to be going well. I would love some advice. My ex just broke up with me 3 days ago and I have already broken a few of the first rules but not too badly.
We almost made it two years together and we had a wonderful relationship together, we had small problems like a normal relationship but nothing horrible. Hey there, basically I had been with my ex for 2 and a half years before we broke up just over a month ago, the reasons why we broke up were a few. I was told she tanked all their resources when she lost her big money job due to her alcoholism and sold everything of his tools, clothes etc.
She left after 3 months of incarceration due to 2 DUIs and punching a police officer. He had the good sense to finally serve her divorce papers when she was in jail. He is only working a few days a week as a music teacher in a private school, and cannot maintain , between the debt and current expenses.
This consumes most of his time. He has food stamps and other gov assistance, and sells things on ebay but is still barely able to survive. He never out right asked for money but I did a lot to help him the past year we lived together. He is depressed and scared and complaining constantly about his situation. He has some very big contacts in the industry, has written movie scores and soundtracks, so he is not a wannabe.
He was a kept man though in many ways. I am working class myself, working 3 jobs to survive. I feel bad and bail him out. I cant do this anymore. I had to turn him down today for a loan he said he would pay back and he got an attitude, saying he would do it for me.
If I mention that he should consider working ANY JOB he could find for a while,to catch up, he gets furious and says I dont understand him- nobody knows what he has been through. I guess he thinks he is better than me because I would and have worked 3 minimum wage jobs to survive. He has an excuse for everything. Blames eyeryone else for his situation. He is 54 yrs old. The only thing he has ever copped to was that he married the wrong person. We lived together about a year, I did more than my share and maintained my own apt which I am now back at but we are still together.
Wont get counsel he has medicaid ins because there are few Therapists who take that coverage and are too far to drive too gas money. I am getting weary. He is quite a lovely person in many ways. Is this passive narcissistic behavior.
I am by nature overly compassionate…. So happy I stumbled across this site. I have been dating my current boyfriend for a little over a year and a half. A little past history. Prior to meeting me his ex gf dumped him, they were together for 5 years and prior to dating me they remained friends. When we first starting dating they still communicated, were Facebook friends, even bought each other Christmas gifts..
All while him and I were dating. I repeatedly asked him to end all communications with her if he wanted to pursue anything with me.. Months went by and everything was calm until I became curious one day and looked up his phone records.
Turns out they had been texting each other back and forth for about a month now.. That was my breaking point. I became the crazy girlfriend and I contacted her and asked her to please stay out of his life..
That started a chain of events from her sending me threatening text messages, old pictures of them, fake hotel reservations, she even made a fake Facebook profile and talked trashed about me for weeks! I find myself comparing myself to her all the time, I torture myself and go to her social media profile often and I am convinced that he still has lingering feelings for her.. My insecruerities are taking over. He has made it clear that he is with me because he wants me and not her, they have but I am convinced that he never really has gotten over her, I feel he even thinks she is prettier than me, they have not spoken in over a year however she will still post old pictures of them both online as if they were still friends, and constantly talks trash about me.
I know she does it to get under my skin and I fall for it all the time. I have yet to say anything to her because I want to move on and be mature about it but WHY is she still bothering me after so many years has gone by? I know all to well about this. I kind of have the same problem as you do. Me and my boyfriend have been together two years and very close friends for 10 years. Website both only had one other relationship. We told each other everything.
I know about his ex in fine detail, from the details of their first time, where they did it, what they did. Before we got together he told me he was a sex pest with her and loved it. They were together for 3 years. After a time, he started to suffer with erectile dysfunction.
Told me a whole bunch of reasons why this started. He even remained friends with her until I made him remove her from his life in every way. He still suffers with erectile dysfunction two years into our relationship. Now I feel like the pain I feel when I remember all the things he did to her, could kme me. I am hoping my post will make someone help me to help my relationship. He even remained friends with her until I made him remove her from his life in evsaw ery way. Now I feel like the pain I feel when I remember all the things he did to her, could kill me.
I am so in love with him. I am so stuck as I want all of what I know to go away, so I can be happy with him and not fight and hurt each other about it. I wish someone could help me make this all ok. I feel so scared by either prospect, I feel like I am going crazy. So I have the same problem except I have never asked or been curious about his ex. When we first got together he would always talk about her and bring up their name so I knew a good deal. And I would get upset and let him know. Eventually it stopped but every so often he will bring her up and say something I usually try to keep myself together and let it roll off but it still hurts.
Then he proceeds to tell me I know it bothers you when I mention her I already know that before anything comes out of my mouth you just need to deal with it. Well dear if thats the case about yours you just need to give it a shot of being patient and if you said trying to confront him wont work out since he mention that he is over her then just be it atleast he ready knew it that u dont like him mentioning her nsme what is nice thing to do is, whenever he suddenly mention his ex name, try to just be silent..
But somehow he love you now. And just say to yourself just like me, happy that this guy is mine now so im the winner! I have flip on this one, I have been with a woman for almost 3 years and we do live together. I never thought I was capable of loving someone as much as I do her. We were both in long term marriages that ended about the same time. Hers was an abusive both physically and more so mentally. My thing is I know she loves me and our relationship is great but, A day does not go by that I am compared to him in some way fashion or form.
It has gotten to the point that I say to myself that I cant even sneeze without it being compared to his sneeze. I will say that most of the time she is comparing me in a positive way but it has started to irritate me that I am being compared at all especially after a few years. I do have to wonder if there is some unresolved issues or love for this man or if she regrets leaving him? I have said something a couple of times but feel if I push it to far she will withdraw and not say anything.
I am at a loss and not sure what to do I love her so much and she tells me every day how much she loves me and is thankful I came into her life. A few months later he got into a new relationship. This broke me, I tried so hard to get him back and this broke me completely. I never believe when he tells me he loves me, things he put up on Twitter I feel are directed to her, he did things for her he would never do for, I constantly compare myself to her and I feel like he does too.
She is beautiful compared to me shes everything he ever wanted in a girl and believe me I know that, like I think he got back with me for the sake of our son otherwise he would have been fighting to be with her. I was wondering if I had any right with being mad at him for telling me that when him and his ex was together that he tried to take her on a romantic boatwhere u eat dinner but she didnt go and he has never took me anywhere romantic i have asked for months if we could do something romantic for months and he kept sayin he dojt do romantic should I have gotten mad at him?
I know this article has been over 2 years…. I wonder what happened with Brianna and his BF. I asked everything that he is willing to share with me. So I get the idea what some of them looked like, how they were together and what led to their separation.
I actually met one of his girlfriends who is now married. So everyone will get pass that. We are very open and honest with each other and I feel guilty for keeping this from him. I am planning on telling him about this instance of looking up up his ex-wife, but I wonder if you have any cautions or insights to share about doing this. I mostly feel the need to tell him because not telling him makes me feel a sense of distance from him on some level.
Unfortunatelly, I did the same as Brianna. I was really obsessed as you were! Indeed, I found stuff about her, but that was her past, not mine to know about. Well, at least that was my case, maybe not yours. My boyfriend and me was dating almost 7 months, we so close although we just date 7 months because we meet each other almost everyday.
However, i feel so crazy about myself now. My boyfriend has an ex who he just date for 1 month before me. He break up with her because she has to comeback to her country and he did not want to have a long distance relationship and his ex understand that too. I also knew that his ex was a good girl too and more outgoing than me. When he broke up with her they still talk with each other after that, still say miss and love each other when she was in her country.
In that time, my boyfriend talked with some girls to find a right girl for him. Then we meat each other when we had the same class at the 1st year of college.
He said that he had a crush on me but because he feel like i do not like him so he did not dare to talk much with me and also he still care about his ex so he felt unsure. For a while, he started to keep contact me, then we talked a lot on the phone. Then we started our relationship. However, i just broke up with my ex before him, so my ex tried to get me back.
I told him about my ex want me back and i feel unsure at that time. His ex still love him so she still wanna keep contact with him. But then i and him realize we love each other so he told his ex that he love me and do not want me jealous and i stop with my ex to although he keep contact me. My boyfriend did not tell me about his ex when we first together, he just told me a while later. And from that, I started to jealous about her and keep asking my boy friend about her.
They break up on september, we started date on november and he stop talk with her maybe at the end of november or on december. But then I found out he said happy new year to her on new year they right before i come to his house to celebrate new year.
She did not txt him back and he told me that he just want to say good luck to his ex because he just said bye with her at the last time they txt each other, that he does not love her no more, just want to say good luck because she was a good friend too.
I do not want to write so long but i told him to tell me what he did to her. Then i was so hurt when I knew that. He was suck her chest, she touch his dick.. It was killing me when i knew that but then i start to feel like he still hide me what he did with her, i ask him, ask him but about how many time they did that, how long does it take like a crazy girl. He did not want to tell me, he said they just stop at that point, no more.
I do not know what happen to me, sometime i feel like i want to text his ex to ask about what he did to her but I know it is not right, i should not do that. Everything keep comeback in my mind, the picture that he with her and i also scare he comeback with her because she was an outgoing girl and my bf is an outgoing guy to when i am a shy and quite girl.
But I know he love me, he said that i am so special more than other girl he has been with. I am shy but he was attracted by my personality, my action…He said he never come back to his past, he want to spend the rest of his life with me and i mean so much to him. We have been through a lot of things together and i know he respect that. But I just so over thinking about his Ex. I want to know everything then it hurt me. And I always feel like he still hide me what he did with her to not hurt or upset me.
He told me do not bring her back in our relationship but then I still keep doing that. I am jealous of her and feel so hurt when I knew he did that stuff with her. Can somebody give me an advice to forget about his ex and get over this crazy thing in my mind? She is skinny and beautiful and it drives me crazy. When I bought my new car recently, I constantly thought about what she would think when she saw it in the driveway?
Would she think it was a cool car? Would she be jealous? Does she notice how good my flower bed is looking? I am right there with you all. For some reason I cannot stop comparing myself to her. I have formed some pretty insane anxiety over the whole situation. It sucks that there are very few firsts for us.
She developed a drug problem and I have to take medication for anexiety. At the same time…I wonder what made him love her. Hiya So glad there are others out there in similar situations to myself. Iv known my partner for 4 years now since Iv known him he has been engaged to one girl and then back and fore with the mother of his child.
The mother of his child got pregnant again and they got back together. There has always been something about him but we only ever spoke as friends we even spoke about them getting married when their second child was born. He admitted that he was still living with his wife but apparently they were not together. This broke me as I was already falling in love with this man. We managed to work through things and he quickly moved out and within 4 months I was practically loving with him.
The ex would constantly ring him or text him and he would sometimes hide this. This all added up to a lack of trust on my behalf. Our relationship moved really fast and we moved in together after 6 months and then I found out I was pregnant. Things have been hard and arguments have been due to a lack of trust.
Not to mention the fact they are close to the ex. For months my partner was not given the opportunity to see his children then a few weeks before our son was due his ex popped up from nowhere. We had the children on a regular basis and things have got easier with his family. I blame him because of how we got together, because they were married and Iv seen pictures etc and I know they wrote their own vows I just feel like I could never get married as I would compare every single detail.
I just want to say that I am so glad I found this thread! I met someone in March. We got very close very quickly, and he divulged his entire past with me. He told me he was with his ex for 7. He told me that following this relationship he was off again on again with this other girl whom he met in graduate school. He also informed me that he was casually seeing another young lady who has recently moved out of state.
While I am intimidated by his 7. She broke his heart and by how he relayed the story he seemed a lot more emotionally invested than the indifference he showed with his first serious girlfriend. He even admitted to still loving her, but countered by saying that he wants to spend his life with me and so on forth. Maybe its selfish, but I kind of want to be the only one he is in love with. I also fear being Ms. At the beginning of our relationship the girl from graduate school was still calling, in addition to a female he was seeing that moved out of state.
On Memorial Day weekend he told me he cut all his loose ends, and informed these women that he was in love with me and he was moving on. A few weeks later he tells me about a prestigious company that is hosting a program for high school students. I guess also because I have this gut feeling, his actions are possibly intensified. I just want to know if I am making too big of a deal with this? I just feel unable to be fully immersed in the relationship because of his past.
I guess I should also mention that he told me he cheated in the past in his long term relationship and met and pursued grad school girl when in his 7. I am so glad I came across this and I am not the only one with these thoughts going through my head. My boyfriend and I met on an internet dating site and we have been together for almost 10 months. When we first started talking and seeing each other he would bring up his ex quite a lot or girls he would use for sex and brag about how promiscuous he had been.
At first I thought he was just nervous and trying to show off but then he used his ex girlfriend to purposefully hurt me by bringing her up while we were in bed.
I know they were together for a while but not longer than a year, they were looking for a flat together and he thought she was texting someone behind his back. He still has her as a friend on facebook and has all of the pictures of them together or pictures on instagram of their time together. I have so far resisted the temptation to ask more questions about her because I feel like it just would not help the situation.
I feel like he constantly compares the two relationships and it makes me feel sick. It almost feels like he cheated on me with her.
We have both said that we wish we had found each other sooner. Please can someone help me? I was mortified that he had been updating this file throughout our entire relationship from her Instagram and facebook photos that she keeps public! Not just photos of her but her and her daughter, her with other men, etc.
If this girl is ever brought up in a conversation between us he clams up and will not disclose any of the details of their relationship and he will literally choke up and get tears.
She hurt him really bad. Even worse, he goes to the local library after work we work together and loads these pics onto a memory stick and backs up to his home computer. I could tell by the screen shots that that was how this was being done. She was a stripper. I know in his past he was a frequenter of the strip clubs and apparently has been with a lot of people and I was fine with his past and apparently I am the only relationship really where he has been monogamous.
He says no other women in his past cared if he was with anyone else because they too had sugar daddies. But to see tears and him choke up when the mere mention of this girl really hurts me and tears me up inside and then to find these photos really just put it over the edge. I yelled and said they were public anyway so no need that he should apologize. What do I do?
He also told me last night that he is done talking about this. I need all the advice I can get. I really do love this guy and have come a long way to understand him and his aspergers. I wish I could. Please I welcome all advice. My uncle has aspergers along with other issues too. Perhaps he needs to get therapy for whatever happened in this past relationship so he can move on.If I want to save money for a bigg house I can. First of all you need to start eating properly. Went snooping in his cell phone and house and felt terrible for doing it. I am 23years old. About Does He Like Me. I love and miss my ex boyfriend. Now i fully believe he never got over her. When I found out I was out of it. Meiya on March 8, at 6: I need all the advice I can get. My boyfriend and I live in another state and He is currently working on his divorce papers.
One more step My ex bf is dating my friendHe is a very nice guy with a really big and giving heart. My kids are 22 and almost Then I told him about it. So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. How do I do that? My partner called me his exes name the other day by accident- fourth time this year I feeling very hurt panicked. Anyway, slight query as my situation differs somewhat to what you have said above. Is Dating A Friend's Ex Really Such A Big No-No?
One of the most common concerns I hear from women dating divorced men is something relating to his ex. As the month was getting over i was calling him he was not picking up my calls nor replying to my messages so i called him from my mothers no he took the call and said i am done with you and i came down to goa and went. Ok now for my question, if I am not talking to him, how is he going to find out Im on the market?
His daughter told me some shocking stuff about her and i wanted to discuss these things with him? I broke up with the love of my life a little over a year ago. We were together for three years but were both emotionally immature and it ended with no closure. I immediately started dating a guy quite a bit younger than me.
We got along so well and he is extremely sweet and good to me. We have been. You may also like: I ghosted my ex, and she’s about to be my new boss; I live where I work, and now there’s a haunted house next to me; I emailed my girlfriend’s boss to complain that he encroached on our relationship. Hey Kevin, Me and my ex girlfriend broke up 4 weeks today. When we first got together he would always talk about her and bring up their name so I knew a good deal. Aug 30, · When I was a sophomore in high school, my best friend started dating my ex behind m back (while I was on vacation!), knowing that I was still in love with him.
The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late.
What if you want to fight for this relationship and win your ex back. My name is Kevin, and I am writing this 3 Step plan to help you get your ex back, even if you think your situation is hopeless.
Breakup is a terrible experience. It leaves you in pain, feeling depressed, angry and often very confused. It is common to be needy at this time. Dating of the breakups are reversible and if you do the right things at the right time, then you will have your ex back in your arms. I am here to help you devise that plan. Playing mind tricks is not the way to go if you want to have a long term healthy relationship with your ex. This plan is based on human psychology and how to use its principles to have a happy relationship with your ex.
These extremely common mistakes end up hurting your chances of getting back together. This is perhaps the most important part of this series so make sure you read each and every point and follow it. After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back.
In fact, it is the worst dating you can do at this moment. Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you. The Doormat Syndrome in relationships is going out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness to please your partner.
It means accepting everything that your partner wants you to do without having any demands of your own just to get back with them. Friend being a doormat will most likely be futile if you want your ex back. This is again a very common mistake and yet detrimental to your chances of getting back together with your ex. People go out to have a few drinks trying to have a good time and the next thing they know they are calling their ex and making a fool out of themselves.
Avoid this at all cost. You have to make yourself scarce if you want to be together with your ex explained in STEP 2 of this plan. As I said before, being needy is unattractive and you want to avoid this at all cost. Well, chances are your ex knows that you love them and they dating how much you care for them.
In fact, if they were in a relationship with you, then they care for you too. Smothering them with affection may even push them further away.
Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. Friend the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of friend.
So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances. After a breakup, you feel depressed, angry confused, shattered, and are really hurting. At this moment, if your ex starts seeing someone elseit just tears you apart.
You feel even more depressed and confused. And usually, when your ex is in this rebound relationship, they seem to become too intimate too fast, which makes it even worse for you, for example it took them 5 months to get physical with you and they are already sleeping with this new person who they are going with for only a week.
That is why most people especially girls will become intimate very soon with their rebound relationship because they are trying to get to that level of intimacy that they had with you. But usually, the faster the rebound relationship progresses, the faster it ends. And once they do realize it, they will break up with them. Rebound Relationships are like Ice Creams. They aren't healthy and they don't last long.
So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. Sometimes, they start seeing someone else just to rub in your face that they are moving on.
In fact, if you do so they will go to the extent of prolonging their rebound relationship just to prove you wrong. Instead if you do something opposite, and act indifferent to their new relationship and just concentrate on your own life career, hobbies etc.
And their rebound relationship will end soon like all other rebound relationships. Now the above mistakes look innocent but are fatal for your chances to get back together with your ex. Like I said, they are very common and chances are that most of you reading this would have already made some of these mistakes. You still have a good chance of getting your ex back. I just ask you to not make any of these mistakes anymore. Now That we have covered what you need to avoid, we can move forward to what you need to do.
Click below for Step 2. Maybe you both have outgrown what you had before. Maybe you both need to push forward and go to a new level within the relationship. I can help you. Feel free to send me an email. Vick, this is the classic case of the push pull psychology. One minute she wants to be with you and the next moment she seems cold and distant.
There are two possible reasons for this. I think you are in a very good position. It would be good if you let it be her idea to get back together. First of all you need to start eating properly.
And the only way to look and feel great is to eat healthy. But if you just follow the plan, she might get back with you. This is the reason why you do not call it a date when you ask her out for coffee. You are just asking to hang out with her as friends. You are going to assembly of god view on dating into her life as friends.
And if her new boyfriends finds it inappropriate, guess who is coming of as the jealous type. And that will just make things easier for you. You need to figure out what keeps going wrong, otherwise the steps on this site cannot help you.
It might get you two together, but what you need to know is why the break ups happen. And any reason that your partner gives is ussually a lie. First, figure out what keeps going wrong. Mack what i have been learning thru all this is that you need to give the other person time to miss you.
Right now she is saying dating is sometimes, give her time and that might change. That means not calling or nagging her to see you. As hard as that might seem it might help friend in the long run. That sucks but what would you do if you love a guy but broke up with him twice and your now dating someone else. Do you think that they would take you back a third time?. My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago.
We have bean together for 5 years. She said thing got stall. I did all the wrong things cry gifts plead. But now we are just in the friend stage. I want here back. But I do not now how to. We work together so it is hard to act happy. Hi, my name is Michael. I have been dating this girl for a year and 5months. Ever day was amazing then some stuff went down and I broke up with her.
I really miss her and I need to get her back… Please help. No, really move on. Dating as though you hate him. Its just terrible and I feel for you. Hang in there ok. Kevin can you help me please read all above. If i didnt come across your web page i would probably still me crying and begging for her to come home. I really want her back and ive done almost everything you said not to do this past week.
I dont know if its too late to get her back or not. I just need some general advice also so if you could take your time to email that would make friend so happy about this situation. Hi, Ive been going through a breakup for about two weeks..
Spread the love One of the most common concerns I hear from women dating divorced men is something relating to his ex. Perhaps she’s still in the picture. Or she’s not in the picture but she bugs you anyway.Hi, i need some advice my boyfriend broke me up i love him and i want him back.. Hi me and my broke up 3 days ago and we been together for 1 year and it was my fault cause I kept getting mad.